thought of an idea for a short story

hey you all,

i thought of an idea for a short story which i might write at a future date:

there is this this boy damien who thinks he is a brilliant amazing human being and superior to most everyone, but one part of him is afraid that maybe other people dont think so and maybe he actually is very average. he wishes he had a way of knowing; so then, by some magic, he turn into some inatimate object that i havent decided on yet, which can objectively observe himself outside of his head to figure out this question.

damien is followed through the course of a day and the reader sees that damien is in fact quite average and very unoriginal. damien, however, misinterprets the information from the outside perspective and ends up being reaffirmed in his original self-concept of his superiority, vowing to never doubt himself again.

need 2 clean up my place

i have to admit i am not the best when it comes to cleanin up after myself :(

Gay Gayken

EVERY1,

CLAY AIKEN IS GAY YOU ALL. finally some news worth blogging about, all i ever hear about these dayz is the gaylection.

for me, this news was kind of like reliving pearl harbor all over again, if clay aiken was japanese and bombin hawaii lol. i mean he is the bomb, and hez probbaly been to hawaii but newayz i think uallsies know where im going with this. how has every1 been dealing with their total obliterating sadness?? for me, i just went on the internet u know 2 "channel the pain thru message boards/writing"

although i feel mainly sadness over this information, other people all over the internet feel their emotions differently:



DEPRESSION
"This is a gut wrenching day for The ClayNation. Somebody wake me up, I hope it's a dream." strollynn63 at The Clayboard
"I've cried a river of tears and truthfully do not know where I stand right now. I am envious of those who can take this news and continue to state their unconditional love and support for Clay." Clayncfan at The Clayboard




mayb1 day we will live in a society where people wont have to 'come out of the closet unless they are trying 2 do a metaphor'

just sum things 2 think about

RENAISSANCE/MIDDLE EAST INSPIRED FASHION OF THE FUTURE

YALLSIES,

i kno we are all looking for the "latest cool thing that is totally all about who we ARE." one thing that i see many white people wearin are scarves in all temperatures. it doesnt matter if it is 90 degrees out, cuz the scarf rly brings out how u feel on the inside, which is the most important thing.

u guys, i have found a new way to wear the scarf that i think really is reflective of my mixed feelings about sadness 4 women bein abused in the middle east, but happiness for the kool scarf trends that the region has inspired:



ALSO, i know that i often "rag" on renaissance people. i think this mite be unfair becuz i think i see a potential for renaissance fashion to come back far in2 the future. here is my grl sara wearing a dress from the 1700's and being confused about technology. LOL, so silly u all!



what if u combined the 2 trends tomorrow? would the sun explode, or would satellites just fall back from the sky? lets try it u all.

hip young gunslingers wanted

Hi patties,

This morning i had a lot of important things that I planned to do including
balancing numbers in spreadsheets
making pivot tables on excel

this is to prepare me for my future career as a futurist/party photographer/legitimate businesswomyn. unfortunately i didnt do ne of these things becuz HIGH FIDELITY was on demand and i wanted to watch it cuz its a movie every1 is always telling me to see.

guys, i have this problem where i just dont really pay attention to most 'important things going on/that are a big deal' like the dark knight and the olympics. sometimes this can be embaressing when im trying 2 interact with real people u all.

i dont have a tv and its not because im replacing the tv with organic farming/nature/other things white people do, but itz cuz i have a labtop so if i really wanna watch the latest mary kate and ashley i can just dl it off or a .rar file or somethin u all.

"it's not that she doesn't care it's just, she's not affected" - JOHN CUSACK IN HIGH FIDELITY DESCRIBIN WHAT I THINK MITE BE ME??

anyway, this movie was pretty good, i can see why everyone might think that it is relevant to their lives so they therefore like it/"get it." for example, i took the above quote totally out of context but made it apply to me.

here are some lyrix for everyone with a generic relatibility u cannot help but connect to:

But I don't need therapy because I have cigarettes
And I don't have any bad memories only bitter regrets
---------------
there's a shield around us
it's invisible & soundless
& we drink too much & fuck too soon
smoke cigarettes in rented rooms
--------------------------------
I used to know this girl
Who gave her love away
To every guy she met
And with all the games they played
She never seemed to cry
She never got upset
And one by one they came
And one by one they left
I thought that I could fix her
If she would let me in
But all of my advances
Were shut down in the end
When days turned into months
I begged her to explain
And this is what she sang

It's not like I'm a slut
Or that I really like to fuck
I just want every boy I see
To walk away with part of me
Until there's nothing left to hold
Until there's nothing left to hate
I appreciate your help
But even you can't save me from myself
----------------------------------

does any one have any suggestions of songs/movies/books with generic relatibility we can all enjoy?

figured out why the cat is depressed

if any of u have been following my blog, ull know that i briefly mentioned that my house cat jamz was depressed, and i also said i should probably do something about it. i threw an awareness party but unfortunately no1 knew anything about animal depression.

guys, i figured out y jamz is so sad.

jamz was born different than the other cats. he was misunderstood from an early age, and he still largely is, though he has managed to find a few other cat that dont totally bore him. people were always expecting him to do things and act how they wanted him to, but he just couldnt, even when he tried his hardest. his interests were different than the other cats. the other cats thought he was weird, but jamz didnt care.

jamz graduated from high school and became a fashion model:




these were the times of jamz 9 lives. everyone adored him. unfortunately he got older and gained 3 lbs, and had to quit professional modeling. he went to college and got a useless degree in catmunications and couldnt get a job.

he had to resort to pornography to pay the bills u guys:


isnt that so sad yall?
:(

who else is feelin totally exposed...letz get sad :(

u guys....wat do u do when ur feelin sad? when u feel like the only band that "gets ur pain" is The Smiths/Morrissey be4 he went solo? 4 me...i usually eat and listen to sad lyrics:








sorry this post is drippin w/ despair and emotion u all :( :( :( :( :(

WAT DO U LOVE?

WHAT DOES EVERY1 LOVE AND CARE ABOUT THE MOST?

4 ME ITS WHEN I AM IN PARTY PHOTOGRAPHY I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT THAT IS ON THE INTERNET ND I STUMBLEUPON IT L8ER...its kind of like finding a 2 dolla bill in ur pocket u didn no was there





WAT IS EVERY1S BIGGEST FEARS?
4 ME ITS EVERY1 FINDIN OUT THAT IM GAY VIA A VERTAPHYSICAL CLOSET METAPHOR/DONT KNOW HOW TO READ/AND ALL I WANNA DO IS JUST CURL UP IN MY FAVORITE FAUX-RUSTIC BLANKET WHILE SENTIMENTALIZING ERAS I WAS NOT ALIVE DURING/WAS 2 YOUNG TO REMEMBER MEANINGFULLY


but seriously guys...should i have a caption contest 4 this photo?? wat in the world is going on here you all?

here r some bikini kill lyrics to make every girl closer to her bff:

that girl thinks shes the queen of the neighborhood
ive got news 4 u: SHE IS
they say shes a slut
but i know
she is
my best friend
yeah.

i still like bikini kill

even tho i mainly listen 2 ADULT., its actually tru that i listen other music (sometimes).

HERE IS 1 BAND I HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO SINCE I WAS 13 YEARS OLD: BIKINI KILL

youzall, in 8th grade we wrote letters to ourselves that we would get our senior year in high school. my letter to myself was really lame but i mentioned that i liked bikini kill in it, so i guess i wasnt a total patty at that age

I WOULDNT BE SO FUCKING MAD SO FUCKING PISSED OFF IT WASNT SO FUCKING WRONG, ITS ALL FUCKING WRONG - BIKINI KILL

I'm so sorry if I'm alienating some of you
Your fucking culture alienates me - BIKINI KILL

It's a particular point of view
This group's dynamic caters to
It's a predictable point of view
I think you know when it caters to you - BIKINI KILL

LOVE U ALL,

Linakill

heroin chic

sometimes i remember the good times of the mid-90's and i get all nostalgic. i remember the time when things were really simple...lyke when i played with my barbies and didnt rly think about how they objectified women until i got 2 college and some anti-post-feminist professor tried 2 tell me otherwise...but then i started shopping at walmart 3 times as often cuz i hated her (sorry guys...got off on a tangent).

i also remember when heroin chic was BIG IN 1995...even tho i was probably only 6 years old at the time. but sometimes i miss it so much u guys that i decide 2 bring it back, so here are some kewl pix of me "trying to" make heroinchic relevant in 2008




omg THIS IS "SO US" U GUYS...THIS IS LIKE SO "US"


usually i wouldnt post this picture because i look fugly and hairy but im tryin 2 stay real 2 heroin chic...its not all glamour like kate moss presents yu all


BONUSBONUSBONUSBONUS
DEAD SPIDER PARTIED 2 HARD


FOOD PORNOGRAPHY FROM JORDANS BDAY...NOT SAFE 4 WORK

wearing ur dads shirt

whos everyones favorite movie character ever other than natalie portman in garden state (jk guys)??

MINES DAWN WEINER




i would dress like this but i cant even find these items at the value world so 4 now its back 2 wearin my dadz shirt

blocked out my eyes with 'THE COLOR PURPLE' cuz this is a movie-themed post guys

uh oh i think i spotted some fat on my left arm...t0tally sux

TOTALLY MODELZZZ/RUNWAY 08 09 10

QUANTUM DEATH QUANTUM DEATH

YOU ALL,

my life gets like rly intense sometimes. for example, yesterday i was doing debate rounds from 9 am - 9 pm. currently i am doin a debate round but im like at da part where i dont need 2 pay attention. last nite i went to 2 parties but no 1 even took my pic at the parties so like WAS I THERE? its like that night didnt happen u guys. i dunno. it sux that nite was erased from the documentary of world existence and i had to get up early neways. i also have a lot of accounting hw.

however, yesterday i was wearing high-waisted cutoffs and a pink lacoste shirt tucked in and my boots to represent my personal brand 2 the world. i think it accurately described my feelingz towards the modern/rustic dichotomy, and it is also one of tha last oppurtunities to wear cut-offs before it gets chili. but what do u do when ur personal brand encounters sexual harrasment?

its like u think society is progressing and people will get ur sentimentalization of blue-collar attire, but rly no1 does u guys. :(

oh last nite some guy asked me if 'i was a kastrinsky/kostinsky'??? (sp sorry guys dont know what he was talking about) can anyone tell me what this means?

trends pt 2

you yall,

how is every1s alabama diet plan going?

here is 1 thing i have noticed about trends around campus and i certainly am not the first person 2 point this out but it is crucial i talk about it. black leggings worn as pants will never go away. even if u r a girl who if u lived in alabama would have 2 pay the new fat tax, u would still wear black leggings as pants if u went to the university of michigan. y is this so appealing guys? i dont get it. does it take longer to put on regular pants? i am rly busy...for example i drink instant coffee ONLY...but i can still find 3 extra seconds to put on regular pants. maybe i should suggest 2 some girls they should drink instant coffee instead of reg. wat if thats the prob? who knows.

here is me demonstrating a trend which will hopefully be big in 2009:

1. wearing ur dads shirt. "oh no...i am so busy and popular that i forgot to do my laundry...guess i have 2 wear my dads shirt again. sorry dad"



do i wear these boots too much? i think im gonna get another pair in white.

how many calories does updatin my blog burn?

u guys,

we live in a society obsessed with fattiness. i look around n theres all diff types of fatness everywhere. but what if bein fat was illegal?

GUYS, ALABAMA IS ABOUT TO MAKE U PAY 4 IT. this is what i read in the news:

"On Friday, the State Employees' Insurance Board announced a new plan beginning next year in which state employees will be required to receive medication screenings for several conditions, including body mass index. Those considered obese or who have high blood pressure, high cholesterol or high glucose will have to pay $25 a month more in health insurance beginning in January 2011, if they don't take steps to address their health problems.

The new rule will affect more than 37,000 people employed by the state. Alabama is the first state to issue a so-called fat tax. The state already charges smokers a $24 per month surcharge (which will increase to $25 next month)"

is this good or bad for america u guys? do we even consider alabama a part of the u.s.a.? i kind of still think of thingz in terms of north states vs. south states so to me its not rly part of our country...i dunno call me old fashioned if u must.

here is some thinspiration for ne1 from alabama who reads my blog or ne1 who needs help with their new diet after readin this:

EXTREME CREME


motivational poster for ur room...look at it every time u eat a nacho and u ask ur friends if ur fat or not cuz the true answer will be right there


if i was president of the usa (cant be tho u guys according to THE LAW becuz i was born in a third world country...totally sad about it still) i would just make every1 get a blood test. a famous man named ben franklin once said the only things for sure in life is death and taxes and blood tests. if every1 got a blood test we could just tax every1 susceptible to every disease and also stop white collar crime before it happens. i am gonna write sara pallin rite now and let her know my idea guys

LOLkenneths

k so here is some lolkenneths as promised. is this not funny because a) everyone forgot about Enron 3 years ago except me and b) ppl are over lolcats now?

its sooo hard to stay current guys. for example if someone put a ti-89 calculator in front of me i wouldnt kno what to do with it guys. i dont even wanna try 2 figure it out even tho it 'does ur math for u.' its so enronic that now i can totally relate 2 how my grandparents feel about the internet and how my parents feel about texting. technology gaps can happen to any of us....so scary rite?

sorry that these dont look professional...not a graphic design major




guys, i was 13 when Enron happened. before then i didnt even know the concept of 'white collar crime.' it was totally new 2 me. how is fraud different then embezzlement...i still dunno. thats the thing about white-collar crime guys...it sooooo mysterious

since ive been thinkin about THE LAW it brought back memories of all my fav corporate criminals over the past few years which is y im bloggin about it even tho its like it never even happened since it was in 2002.

party politics...its not just for sara pallin guys

GUYS,

okay so guys me and my roomies threw a party at our house. actually here is the background for how this party came into fruition:

me and some of my gfs were sitting around the table 'just hanging out n stuff' when we realized that all of us missed festifall because no one was aware of it...actually i knew about it tho. and none of us are rly in any clubs except for me on db8 team, so we decided to start an awareness club to make people 'aware' about things. i think u know how serious i am about awareness. awareness = awareness (instead of = love). all of a sudden i found myself in front of my labtop creating a facebook event.

its so random...its like 1 moment youre just trying to raise awareness in a post-post-ironic manner and laughing about how totally zany you and ur friends are, and the next u are inviting all of ur online bffs over your house? its like, 'where is life gonna take me next?' i dunno guys but it better not be to ur lame party lol (just playin)

if my party ti-83 calculator is correct i think like 250 ppl came between the hours of 11 and 3.

were u there?

some party obs:

1. the radius of the party ACTUALLY GROWS as the night goes on. this is due to limited space clearly...but i actually think u can probably make an equation on ur party ti-83 calculator to determine how big ur party radius will be. here is the 1 i came up with:
(Hours Elapsed) x (# People) x(1-(Square Feet of Ur House/10000)) = Your Party Radius

2. Everytime the ipod cuts out and people are dancing there is a collective 'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRUEWUIOFRH' from everyone. This noise i think is equally becuz people are upset the music isnt playing and also becuz if they didnt make some kind of noise it mite be rly awkward. thats why the 'aww' lasts until the music goes back on.

3. people will show up and it will really confuse u as to how they found out about ur party if youre the host. this includes but is not limited to the homeless community, misplaced bros, your neighbors who ignored u until they saw u havin a party, and someones little brother cuz he wanted to show him what a 'real collage party was like' and in movies the lil bro will make out with someones mom or something but "IRL" he will prolly just get too sick and then his older bro will get in trouble.

BONUS: PARTY PHOTOGRAPHY GUYS








anyways yallsies, i went to bed at 4, woke up at 8 am the next morning to clean up and meet my debate partner for a really long meeting at 10. then i drove home and now im blogisizing but i should prolly do my BE 300 homowork guys.

who else hates when IRL responsibilities interefere with their party lyfestyle? have robots found the cure for this yet? pm me.

hey mom, thanks for the broken promise

guys,

i am never bored unless i have to be somewhere i dont want to be. class is a rly good example of this. i tend 2 doodle a lot becuz i am not rly listening unless its ULTRA relevant to my life.

but guyz yesterday i realized that during these times i am able 2 figure out what my subconscious looks like...freaky rite? this is how...when im doodling or somethin i usually picture something elaborate in my mind to draw and then i usually mess it up...not in the art school guys...and then i turn it into something else but I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ITS GONNA LOOK LIKE SO I JUST DRAW FREE HAND NOT RLY THINKIN GUYS AND THEN IT TURNZ INTO RANDOM STUFF. here is some examples:


WUT DOES THIS MEAN?? CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHICH PERSONALITY DISORDER I HAVE?

WHO AM I RLY GUYS?
guys i think this one is actually my subconscious....s0000 typical


TRY IT YOU ALL

trends

flossies,

i know that ever since we all saw the lion king we became aware of the 'circle of life.' everything is circular guys, but what is even more circular/cyclical than real circles is TRENDS. here is the circle of life of everything we like and know:

1. influential people in street culture/scene styles originate something and it catches on. i think it is unique for AT MOST a year.
2. corporations market the trend and it becomes popular
3. people who started it reject it because its not 'theirs' anymore
4. it fades out
5. you have to wait anywhere from 3 months to 10 years before it is safe to do again 'ironically.'
6. it becomes popular again

this is y i dont understand why people get so upset that whatever they like is 'popular.' its really patty and petty guys. chances are whatever it is has already been done. however, i have been able to come up with a solution to this guys for anyone that gets really upset by the above REALity:

DO SOMETHING THAT IS SO ABSURD THAT THERE IS NO WAY ANYONE WILL EVER LIKE IT...my personal brand of 2009 is an example

here is me being a big fashion failure


FIX IT -- UNBUTTON THA SHORTS FOR 2009

model: sara (tagging her)

other ideas:
1. glasses that are absurdly big for your face beyond anything
2. not having nails (suffer 4 fashion guys - of montreal)
3. acceptance

just some thingz 2 think about.

pubic hair causes crime

guys, one of my fav movies of all time is Pecker. E. Furlong = awareness (instead of = love) which is also why i like this movie so much. amazingly enough, it also deals with themes relevant to my life including:

1. party photography
2. laundry
3. amphetamines for children
4. the modern/rustic dichotomy
5. petty theft with ur bffs
6. fashion tips for the homeless






some lessons from the film that will help u:

1. Life is nothing if you're not obsessed.
2. Sometimes there's things more important than pit beef.
3. Pubic hair causes crime.
4. This life rewards you with noteriety for the strangest little things.
5. You're not supposed to have sex with the people you are trying to help.